So it’s a hot Wed afternoon, and it’s the school hols so I should be happy, but I’m not cos I’m having MS (Menstrual syndrome), crampy lower back and feeling depressed for no reason at all. People have PMS but I have both PMS and MS. What the heck?!?!

I’m sitting in my study feeling hot cos we have no fan in the study yet, and though we have an air-con there’s no use turning it on cos we haven’t installed a sliding glass door yet. (Right now the study has a totally open concept.)

I am debating with myself whether I should go to the IKEA-GIANT area in Tampines, Ikea to look for nice photoframes and deco items, Giant to buy food to cook for tonight’s dinner, but it’s so hot out there and I’m not sure if going out will make me feel better or staying at home feeling bored will make me feel better. Of course there’s always housework to do, 101 mirrors to put up (DH and I bought 24 small mirrors from Ikea to stick together to form a BIG mirrored area in our dining room, cos all the affordable big mirrors we’ve seen are nothing special, and the special mirrors all cost way too much… hello, $1,000+++ for a mirror?), masks to slather on my face, television to watch. Or maybe nothing I do can cheer me up now. šŸ˜¦

Got news from the poly that they may not have any teaching hours for me next sem. Made me feel kinda angry and sad, like I’ve been used. Turns out the subject I’ve been teaching is only taught once a year (every other semester) so next sem it won’t be taught. I really don’t want to go back to working full-time in an office again so DH and I are thinking of bringing our baby-making plans forward instead. The thing is, I’m not sure I’m ready to be totally financially dependent on DH yet, but I’m really disillusioned with the HR scene in Singapore. Honestly speaking, the only job I would like to do now is go back to flying, but my age and my family plans are really against me in this aspect. Sigh. I really miss flying.

I know I’m really fortunate not to have to go to work everyday doing something I dislike, but sometimes it sucks too that I can’t go to work everyday doing something I like either. I know, I made the choice, I want to have a family, I want to have my 1st child before 30, but I also want to have my cake and eat it too. I miss visiting a different country every few days (for free!). Now we have to scrimp and save and plan just to go for a holiday. Well, I’m just whining and being discontent with my lot but it’s probably because of my MS… stupid hormones why do they act up every month? šŸ˜¦

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